Harry and Draco's secret
by megenta
Summary: Harry and Draco met in secret. Loving each other whenever they could and pretending to despise each other the rest of the time
1. Chapter 1

Harry never thought he'd find himself pressed against the wall by Draco Malfoy and be happy about it.

Draco pressed his lips against Harry's and Harry's body felt like it was on fire. With energy coursing through it. "Draco," Harry murmured, he could feel Draco's hand move lower and lower. Harry gasped.

Draco smiled and kissed him again. "I know." He whispered. Draco's hands were cold against Harry's warm skin, but god did they feel good. Draco pulled and massaged and was delighted by every moan and whimper Harry let out. "It feels good, doesn't it?" Harry's answer came in a muffled moan. Draco laughed and pulled Harry to the floor.

Later when they had let their passion fill one another and they lay on the floor, under the invisibility cloak, Harry mumbled Draco's name.

"Yes my love?" Draco responded, kissing Harry's cheek

"I love you" Harry said in a shaky voice. "P-please don't tell."

Draco smiled and kissed Harry yet again. "Harry I want to shout our love from every rooftop, in every city, in every country. I'm not embarrassed of us."

Harry could hardly talk. "I'm not either, but for our safety you know we can't tell." He could hear Draco sigh.

"I know. But Harry I just want you, forever." Something in Draco's voice told Harry he was vulnerable. "Harry, please don't leave me."

"Oh, Draco." Harry pulled him close and kissed him over and over until a smile returned to his face. "I will die before I leave you."

Draco looked at Harry and cupped his face. "I'm so sorry for how terrible I am to you."

"Draco you have to do it to protect us." Harry knew how much it hurt Draco to say all those things to him and his friends and in their secret meetings Draco would always apologize, sometimes even breaking into tears.

Draco shook his head. "Harry, you don't understand."

Harry held Draco against him. "Yes. I do. But you have to. Until we can get out of here."

Just then Peeves came shooting into the room. Harry and Draco lay painfully still and didn't dare to breathe. Peeves squinted and looked around the room. "Noisy noisy, I hear voice-ies" He sang. After what felt like forever Peeves gave up and flew through the wall an out of the room.

Harry was the first to speak. "Draco we need to be going."

"I know. I'm just not ready to act like I hate you again." Draco's voice was filled with hurt.

"Just until the end of this year Draco." Harry said, comforting Draco as much as he could.

They embraced once more then went into the corridor and hurried their separate ways. Both of them already missing the other.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note to readers: Please feel free to leave comments, I'd like to know if I should continue to publish chapters. I'd also love any critics. Thank you, I hope you enjoy!

Harry and Draco's Secret Ch. 2

It was several days before they could meet again. Harry hated the look of hurt in Draco's eyes whenever he insulted Harry. The longer they had to wait to see each other the more it seemed to wear on Draco. Harry could see the deterioration in him. His already pale skin would turn translucent, his grey eyes would sink into their sockets and become dull, his hair would turn oily from lack of self care. Harry knew they would have to meet soon or Draco would end up in the infirmary.

It wasn't until after Herbology that they finally got a chance to meet. It had been five days since their last meeting, it was the longest they had ever gone. Harry saw Draco in the halls and motioned with his head at a classroom that was always empty. He ducked into it and waited for Draco to join him.

Not two minutes after Harry, Draco stumbled into the room, closing the door behind him and locking it. He turned and threw himself at Harry. Harry hardly steadied himself in time. "Draco," He began, but was interrupted.

"Harry, I'm so sorry," Draco whimpered, tears streaming down his face. Harry did his best to wipe them away but they endlessly spilled down his face. "Harry, I love you, I can't keep doing this. I can't. Harry please, let's tell them. Please Harry, this is killing me."

And Harry knew that it was killing him, he could see it. But Harry also knew that if they let out their secret, Draco would wish he was dead. Harry wiped away Draco's tears again and kissed his forehead. "Draco, you know what your family would say. What Snape would say. Draco your life would be terrible. It would be worse than living with the Dursley's. Worse than pretending like we are."

Draco's eyes pleaded with Harry, "B-but I'd at l-l-least h-have you. I w-wouldn't h-h-have to a-act so horrible to y-you" he sobbed.

Harry held him close and tight, wishing he could take Draco away from all of this and take his pain away. "Draco, please try to hold on." Draco opened his mouth to protest but Harry kept talking "I know how bad it is, I can see it eating away at you, but Draco you have to stay strong. Please. For us. Not much longer Draco." Harry steadied Draco and kissed him.

Draco pulled away and looked Harry in the eye. "Harry, all the stuff I say, I don't mean it. Please don't ever think I mean it." Harry knew he didn't mean it, yet every time Draco insulted him or taunted him there was a sting to it.

Harry smiled weakly, "I know you don't." Harry kissed Draco again and both of them jumped at the sound of the bell ringing. "Get to class love. I'll see you soon." They both knew the next time they would see each other would be in potions. And both of them knew that meant acting like they hated each other. They parted, not feeling as reassured as they had hoped they would.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: My other two chapters were more focused on Harry. This chapter is experimental and is from Draco's perspective. I'd love to hear any thoughts!

Harry and Draco's Secret Ch. 3

Draco's heart pounded against his chest. He looked at the classroom where he took his Potions class and his stomach sunk lower and lower. Crabbe and Goyle pushed him forward and he was forced into the room before he had prepared himself. He couldn't be mean to Harry anymore, he didn't have it in him. Harry's words echoed around Draco's head for the thousandth time. "Please. For us. Not much longer Draco." Draco swallowed and made his way to his bench, refusing to look up from the floor.

Potions class couldn't end fast enough. Draco sneered at Harry a few times but was unable to spit out insults like usual. Harry could tell Draco was struggling and his eyes seemed to plead with Draco. Draco hated that he was letting Harry down but how was he supposed to keep this act up? Inside, Draco's heart was slowly breaking.

After Potions class Draco couldn't ditch Crabbe and Goyle. Draco tried to get them to go to the dining hall or go to their next class without him but they simply wouldn't. Draco, for the first time in a long time, felt as angry and as mean as he acted. He shoved people in the hallway and spat insults at anyone who crossed his path. He met Harry's eyes once and his heart ached to hold him. No one would take away his time with Harry again if he could help it.

The rest of the day went by in a blur and Draco was grateful for it. At the end of the day, as he climbed to his dorm, Draco let himself think of Harry. Actual think about him. How his lips felt against Draco's skin. How sweet he tasted when Draco kissed him. Draco shivered and fell into his bed. Draco had tried so hard to be Harry's rock, sometimes he was so good at it. Then there were times that Draco was so insecure and unsure of himself that he'd find Harry being his rock.

That night Draco dreamed of a boy with a lightning shaped scar on his forehead. The boy was blinding white light, he protected Draco from the darkness that surrounded them both. His light was warm, safe, and Draco had an amazing sense of being where he belonged.

In the Gryffindor dorm Harry was dreaming as well. He dreamed of a bright green light. He'd had this dream many times before. Yet, instead of waking up in a sweat with his scar burning, someone blocked the green light from touching him. It was a boy with white-blonde hair and grey piercing eyes that glanced at Harry before disappearing into the green light. Harry knew with certainty that the boy loved Harry and would do anything for him.

The next morning both boys woke up with their dreams forgotten. The students in the corridors and dining hall were unusually groggy. Draco wondered into the dining hall and scanned the Gryffindor table for Harry. He couldn't find him and it made his stomach do flips. Draco pushed it out of mind and went to his own house table, where he put on a mask. No more like an entire costume, he had to be someone that he wasn't just to protect the person that he actually was, and the person that he loved.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: I really enjoy your feedback! Please continue to leave reviews! They're very helpful! I was thinking about maybe doing a few chapters more from Draco's point of view then returning to Harry's for a few and switch back and forth. Thoughts?

Harry and Draco's Secret Ch. 4

In the next few days Harry and Draco hardly talked to one another. Draco didn't constantly insult Harry like normal but he didn't go out of his way to meet up with him either. People had been talking. Harry had been secretly disappearing lately, and people noticed. And they talked. Draco heard many of the questions and speculations in the halls.

"Where was Harry always disappearing to?"

"Did Harry have a secret?"

"Did he have a girlfriend?"

"What was he up to?"

Draco would smirk and go on with his life whenever he heard these comments, but one caught his attention. "I saw Harry when he disappeared once." Draco stopped in his tracks and listened. It was a conversation between two girls. One was a Hufflepuff and the other was a Ravenclaw, they were both in the same grade as Draco and Harry. Fifth years didn't go around talking about each other if there wasn't some truth to it.

"Really? What was he doing?" It was the Hufflepuff girl. She had brown hair and a rounded face.

The Ravenclaw girl giggled, "He was with a _girl_." Draco went cold. A girl?

"Was it Hermione?" the Hufflepuff seemed to be losing interest

The Ravenclaw smiled coldly. "No, it was Katie Bell!" the Ravenclaw had black hair and a pointed face.

The Hufflepuff still didn't seem impressed. "So what?" she asked rolling her eyes.

This is what the Ravenclaw had been waiting for. "They were laughing a lot. And leaning close to one another. And then…" The Ravenclaw paused for drama. "Katie reached for his hand."

The Hufflepuff's eyes grew wide, "Did he let her hold his hand?"

The Ravenclaw shrugged, "I don't know, didn't stick around. But why wouldn't he? Why would he disappear all the time to meet her and not let her hold his hand?"

Draco didn't want to hear anymore, the world was spinning and he was having trouble walking straight. Harry wouldn't. No, no, no. Harry wouldn't ever allow someone else to hold his hand, that was for Draco to do and no one else. Draco knew he had to find Harry. Yet right now he didn't want to. He wanted to sit, no, lay down. Making his way through the crowd of people, (did Hogwarts always have this many students in such a small space?) Draco headed to his dorm. His eyes were heavy with sleep. It was only fourth block, but something had been triggered in him and Draco just couldn't stay on his feet. He knew he had to sleep.

Once in his room Draco fell into his bed, too tired to get under blankets, too tired to think of what he'd just heard. He decided he just wouldn't go to any classes until he woke up, which he figured would be mid-afternoon tomorrow. Draco fell into a restless sleep, tossing and turning and crying out from a dream that he would not remember for quite a while.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: I'm sorry for not posting for a while. I'm afraid I'll be slower for the next little bit, I'm dealing with sick family along with my studies. Please be patient. Thank you.

Harry and Draco's Secret Ch. 5

The next morning Draco had a terrible feeling in his stomach. Something bad was coming. He got up anyway and changed into fresh clothing. His thoughts were taken up by Harry, he knew he had to meet with him today. What would Harry say? Thinking about it was making Draco sick so he pushed it out of his mind and made his way to breakfast.

Nothing looked very good to Draco so he sat at the Slytherin table and tried to hide the fact that he was staring at Harry over at the Gryffindor table. Harry looked so happy. His hair was sticking up at odd angles and his eye were such a bright green. Draco smiled to himself. Harry was so handsome and he was nice too. Draco knew Harry was his happiness and he wasn't ashamed of it. Just then Harry turned slightly and made eye contact with Draco, a smile spreading across his face before he turned away. Draco's heart fluttered and he could feel himself blush. Harry had just smiled so brightly at Draco that his entire world now seemed lighter. The feeling Draco had had in his stomach disappeared.

That day in potions Draco made a dangerous decision and paired up with Harry for Potions. He complained loudly about it but smiled gratefully at Harry. Once they were in their groups and working on their project Draco whispered to Harry about what he had overheard the two girls saying. Harry listened in silence and remained expressionless.

After Draco finished talking Harry looked up at him. His face was unreadable and Draco's stomach dropped. "You believed that I would cheat on you?" Although Harry tried to keep a calm voice Draco could hear the pain.

Draco looked down "No. I don't know. I told myself that you wouldn't do something like that, not after everything we had been through. I was just scared, I wanted to hear it from you."

Harry's voice was hard when he spoke again. "Well I'm not cheating on you." For some reason Draco did not feel reassured. "That being said, I'm not forgiving you for thinking that I would do such a thing." Draco's heart twisted. This wasn't what he wanted at all.

"Harry please," He began but Harry interrupted

"No Draco. You can't expect me to not be hurt by that."

"I never said I didn't," Draco felt rage grow inside of him. "But next time I will know not to come to you with any worries."

Hurt flashed on Harry's face and for a moment Draco felt sorry for what he had said, but the look on Harry's face fled and he threw some ingredient in the pot that made it swell. Draco dropped to the ground just before the cauldron exploded.

Snape stormed over to their working station. "What have you done Potter?!" He roared

Harry didn't look at Snape, instead he looked at Draco. "Something I'm not sure I don't regret." He replied as the bell rung. He strolled out of the classroom leaving Snape blindingly mad and Draco with a bad feeling in his stomach once again.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: This chapter has returned to Harry's point of view.

Harry and Draco's Secret Ch. 6

Harry walked out of Snape's class on the verge of tears. He loved Draco more than anything, but Draco believing that he would do something like that made his heart wrench. Harry hadn't meant to be so cold to Draco, he didn't know why he had acted out the way he did. Harry stalked out into the hallway and into the crowd of students, making his way to the library. Along the way he bumped into students and even a teacher, but Harry didn't care. He didn't even know where to go.

Finally he ended up in the library, walking through shelf after gigantic shelf of books. Harry was tired of always fighting with Draco. Why couldn't they laugh it off? Laugh at the fact that they had to act like they didn't like each other. Was it really that hard?

"Potter, what are you doing?" Madam Pince was looking at me from behind her desk. "Shouldn't you be on your way to the Gryffindor common room?" Harry nodded and left the library.

Harry's mind wondered as he walked through the corridors. Harry and Draco had been arguing more than they had been loving each other lately. Harry reached the portrait and muttered the password. Ron and Hermione were waiting for him.

"What was all that about?" Hermione asked, her hands on her hips. "You're lucky Snape didn't take any point from Gryffindor!"

"Harry that was awesome! I've never seen you act so cold and cool to Malfoy or Snape!" Ron was smiling and practically vibrating from excitement.

Harry smiled big and accepted Ron's praise. Even Hermione eventually smiled and joined in. the three sat in front of the fire and talked about homework and projects, Hermione was ecstatic as always and Ron and Harry fell into a stupor.

Eventually the common room emptied and they were the only three left. But even they couldn't fight sleep off and they eventually climbed up the huge stairway to their dorms. Once Ron and Harry were in their room and collapsed in their beds Ron asked Harry why he had acted the way he did in Potions. Harry's voice was thick and heavy with sleep when he finally answered. "Sometimes, your heart tells you to do something ridiculous because you feel so hurt by someone you thought wouldn't hurt you." Ron didn't say anything and slowly Harry realized what he had said. "Of course it wasn't Draco who I was hurt by. That would be impossible. Right Ron?" There was a heavy silence and then Ron's snores drifted down to Harry. Ron hadn't heard any of what Harry had said.

Harry laid back against his pillow and stared up at the ceiling. What would it be like if he told Ron or Hermione about him and Draco? Hermione would probably be more accepting than Ron but Harry didn't think either one of them would like it. Rolling the thought around in his mind Harry finally fell asleep.


End file.
